We all have experienced shame, either by self-shaming, being shamed by someone, or guiltily shaming others regardless of whether it’s our intention or not. In short, in the presence of shame, everyone gets hurt. Shame tends to happen when one partner feels ignored, unheard, dismissed, and/or unappreciated, which affects their views of self (“I’m not important to you” or “I don’t matter at all”).

In my clinical experience, one of the most daunting consequences of sexual trauma is the feeling of loneliness that lingers even after the abuse is over. Some people refer to this feeling of loneliness as “the void,” an emotional vault that no matter what they do, stays… empty.

What is your level of confidence in managing your money? Do you feel determined to grab it by the horns or are you fearful and avoidant when you’re around it? Today, I want to share with you the 6 different types of money personalities; they’re the force behind our financial instinct.

I love talking about money with my spouse, even early on in our relationship. Though, many times, it did not go as well as I planned because my husband is a withdrawer and I am a pursuer when it comes to financial planning. So, if you find yourself and your partner stumbling along on a similar road, you’re not alone. My family has been there.

We are afraid of being seen as the “bad guy” in our partner’s eyes. We are afraid that they may stop loving us because we say “no” to things that we are not comfortable doing. There are many reasons why people feel hesitant or neglect boundary setting with their significant other.

Assertive communication can help improve your marriage in a very satisfying way by focusing on calmness, clarity, and honesty in each partner's self-expression.

Not talking to each other (i.e. passive style) does not stop your communication. In fact, you and your partner are constantly communicating with each other regardless of your awareness.

When asked what better communication looks like, couples feel frustrated as the answer they receive sounds foreign to what they think their partner wants.

Understanding your fear, the one that stops you from practicing vulnerability, is critical. For some, it is the fear of the unknown or uncertainty that stops us from telling others how we feel. We are afraid because we don’t know how our loved one would react if we showed them who we are.

When we focus on avoiding pain, we tend to forget that it is also the place where growth occurs. It is true that being vulnerable means facing the risk of being emotionally wounded. However, it also means giving yourself the permission to be truthful of what you feel or experience in the moment and be brave enough to share that experience with others.